Foster Parent Pre-Service Classes

Yesterday we sat down in a hotel room, at 8am, surrounded by virtual strangers, to begin training about the roller coaster ride of becoming licensed foster parents.

Foster Parent.

Something I never thought I would feel led to be.  Dane has always had a heart for adoption and also foster parenting and through his passion I also found mine.

It reminds me of something I said when I was going through college.

I could never be a social worker.

Welp.

So working in Child Welfare I have worked with many foster parents as I have placed some of our foster children into their home, often times after just being removed from their parent or custodian.   I have always loved and respected our foster parents.  I've often remarked that we are very lucky to have the ones we do in our county.  They are warm, loving, selfless and a little bit crazy.

I could never be a foster parent,

Something I have actually said.

When people ask what I do, they can't ever look me in the eye when I answer them.  I am a Child Welfare worker, an intake worker, who investigates incidences of child abuse or neglect and asks questions regularly to children that most adults couldn't handle the answers to. They respond that they could never do that job and I usually say something smart ass back like "neither could I".  But they don't know what to say next.  I am not an evil person, or a perfect loving person.  I am just a human being and I try to do my job as best as I can.  But, no, I never thought I would be a Child Welfare worker when I was working my way towards my Bachelor's Degree in Psychology.

I also never thought I would be special enough, selfless enough, benevolent enough to be the type of person that could deal with the ups and downs of foster parenting.  When I think about myself, I realize what a lacking person I truly am.  This has been weighing on my mind a lot lately when I think about bringing a little one {or two} into our home.  Knowing what I do about the development of little children, the risk of abuse and neglect, and the horror stories I have seen families live through, I feel like I will probably be super protective, super paranoid, super crazy when I have littles in our home.  I pray that I don't traumatize them more than they already have been!  When I think about having children in our home, my protective instincts kick into high gear and I feel like I would do anything for children I don't even know yet. I often worry that I won't do it right.

But, despite all these worried about myself, God blessed me last night with words from my husband.  When we were out to dinner for out anniversary he told me I was the most nurturing person he knew besides his grandmother Peggy {Johnson}, who I never met.  A high honor from him because from what I've heard, Grandma Peggy was a saint.

I trust his assessment because he has seen me at all aspects of life.  The dark, the nasty, the tired.  He says that when he is hurting, I am always right beside him.  I don't do much, I just sit there next to him.  And I realized that's all I need to do for these kiddos.  Be there.

And I promise I will always be there every step of the way.  And I know that's all that really matters.

Love,

Bethany